How to Get Support When You’re Struggling With Your Mental Health
Why is it so hard to ask for support with your mental health?
When you struggle with your mental health, it can be so hard to ask for support from other people and even from professionals. Why is that the case? It’s a complicated issue, and there are several factors that go into why talking about mental health is so loaded for so many of us.
First of all, we’re not great at talking about mental health as a society. We’re getting a little better, but we still have a long way to go to reduce stigma, and make people feel like they can reach out for help without feeling like there’s something wrong with them. Shame isn’t a great motivator, and mental health issues tend to bring up a lot of shame and fear, even though there’s nothing shameful about experiencing mental health problems. Sometimes, people don’t even recognize that they’re experiencing an issue with their mental health because they’re so used to living with the symptoms and they don’t think there’s anything amiss.
In addition, it’s hard to be vulnerable and admit you can’t do everything yourself in our individualistic culture. We prize achievement and productivity above almost everything, so asking for help feels like admitting failure, even though that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s also tempting to downplay your struggles when asking for help because no one wants to feel like a burden to others. People have a hard time asking for help when they know others are struggling too.
There are also structural reasons why people struggle to ask for help.
They may not have health insurance, or extra money to pay for treatment. They may be undocumented and be afraid to seek care. They may have a history of being mistreated by health professionals, and be wary of trusting new ones. Keeping these reasons in mind is important so they can be addressed when seeking help, so that they can do so in a way that feels safe.
How can you tell if you need support when you’re struggling with your mental health?
If you’re asking yourself whether or not you need support, the answer is probably yes.
Are you starting to notice that you’re not enjoying things that you used to enjoy?
Have your sleeping or eating habits shifted recently?
Are you having a hard time taking care of yourself or your living space?
Do you have moments where you feel hopeless or worthless?
Are you experiencing big shifts in your moods?
Are you struggling to keep up with the people you care about?
Is it hard for you to concentrate and make simple decisions?
Are you finding it hard to get through your everyday routine?
These can all be signs that something is going on with your mental health, and talking to someone can help. If you relate to any of these signs and they’ve been going on for two weeks or more, it’s a good idea to ask for help because mental health problems are very treatable.
So, how can you get support when you’re struggling with your mental health? Here are 6 things to keep in mind:
Acknowledge that you need support
The first step in asking for support is acknowledging that you need it. If you’ve been dealing with any of the situations listed above, or struggling with your day to day life, you may be experiencing a mental health issue. It might be easier to write it down first than to say it, but it’s important to acknowledge that you’re at a point where you need extra help.
Don’t isolate yourself
It’s tempting to isolate yourself when you’re struggling with your mental health, but that can often make things worse. It’s important to maintain your connections to others, especially when you’re having a hard time with your mental health. Staying in touch with others can help you have more people to reach out to when you’re ready, and having more people in your life can be a protective factor when you’re struggling. More people around means more people to keep an eye on you and notice when you’re having a hard time, and who can step in if you need it.
Say it out loud to one person you trust
When you’re struggling, it’s important to let someone know. Share what’s going on with someone you trust and who cares about you. You don’t need to figure this out alone, and there are people out there who want to help you. Make a list of people who you could talk to about what you’re going through. Maybe it’s a sibling, a best friend, a cousin, a mentor, a parent, or a neighbor. Who makes you feel safe? Start with those people.
Remember that everyone is struggling with their own stuff too
Sometimes, even when you get up the nerve to ask for help, people might not always be available to help you. People not showing up for you in the way you want them to isn’t actually about you or how they feel about you, it’s usually about what’s going on in their lives and in their minds. It feels incredibly disappointing, and even hurtful, when you’re being vulnerable and the other person can’t help, but it’s also part of being human so keep that in mind. Keep asking for help until someone can help you. You’re not a burden, and you’re not asking for too much.
Contact a professional
Mental health is a health issue and you deserve support when you’re having a hard time. If you’re struggling, it’s important to loop in a professional like a therapist or your primary care doctor, to make sure there’s nothing else going on physically that could be causing your symptoms, and to help you find relief through counseling, lifestyle shifts, or even medication if that’s right for you and your situation. Seeking help from a professional can be transformational, not just for your mental health, but for your relationships, your confidence, your family, and even your work performance.
Know when it’s an emergency
There are times when mental health problems become an emergency. If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or others, that is considered an emergency and it’s time to get immediate help, either by calling 988, the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or going to your local emergency room.
