Your Relationship Roadmap: A Guide for Navigating Common Relationship Problems
Wouldn’t it be easier if relationships came with a how-to guide?
Relationships are incredibly rewarding, but they can sometimes be incredibly confusing, too. The reality of being in an intimate relationship with another human being is that sometimes, things are going to get tough.
When your close relationships are strained, the fallout can impact every area of your life. It’s hard to focus on anything else when you’re in a bad place with your partner.
To help, we put together this guide of relationship resources from Anchor Counseling NY, to help you navigate common relationship problems and grow closer:
Understand the trajectory of romantic relationships
It’s jarring when our relationships start to shift from the initial waves of romance. Change is hard, and it can feel like we’re losing something important when our relationships start to change. However, change is inevitable, relationships included.
Understanding how relationships look over time can help you and your partner adjust to each new stage. Romantic relationships tend to follow a similar pattern: intense romance during the honeymoon phase, followed by power struggles, then stability, commitment, and deep attachment. Each phase comes with benefits and challenges, so being aware of what’s coming can help you navigate those obstacles as they come up.
To learn more about these stages, read: The Stages of Romantic Relationships: What You Should Know
Focus on communication
Relationships are built on communication, so when you struggle to communicate with each other, your relationship suffers. Finding ways to discuss things openly and compassionately can make a big difference in the way you approach difficult conversations.
For example, arguing about money is really common in relationships. It’s actually one of the biggest sources of stress in relationships. Many couples start couples counseling because of disagreements about money. But don’t despair! It’s possible to learn to work together and change your approach to finances in a way that works better for your relationship.
The process begins with communicating about money with your partner. To learn how, read: 5 Essential Money Questions Every Couple Should Discuss: A Therapist's Guide
Another relationship stage where communication is essential is when you’re planning your future together. It can be overwhelming to consider all aspects of planning your life with your partner, but it’s also key to make sure you’re on the same page about things. You don’t want to find out five years in that you’re completely incompatible because your expectations of marriage are completely different. It’s important to consider for yourself what it means to commit to another person, and to discuss that with your partner.
Not sure what to ask, though? If you and your partner are thinking about taking your commitment to the next stage, read: What to Ask Your Partner Before Getting Married
Remember that conflict is normal
Every couple will experience conflict in their relationship. Experiencing conflict doesn’t mean that you have a bad relationship, and it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. It’s impossible to agree with someone all of the time, even if you love them a lot. While there are aspects of conflict that can be harmful to relationships, conflict itself isn’t the problem. Conflict can actually bring you and your partner closer together when you do it right!
To learn how to approach conflict in your relationship, read: 5 Things You Should Know About Conflict in Relationships
Couples therapy is a great resource
We’ll admit that we are a bit biased - we’re therapists, after all. But we’ve personally seen the transformation that occurs when couples put in the time and effort to improve their relationship to one another, and it’s nothing short of magical. We’re passionate about helping couples improve their communication skills, find ways to manage conflict, and build a future together. We understand that it’s not easy to jump into something like couples therapy without knowing what to expect, though.
If your relationship could benefit from more support, couples counseling may be a good choice. To help you understand what to expect in couples counseling, read:
