How to Recognize Depression in Others and What You Can Do to Help
Depression can be difficult to recognize in ourselves, and it can be even trickier to recognize it in others. Not only does everyone experience depression differently, but many of us downplay and normalize the symptoms we feel because talking about mental health is hard.
Mental health issues are still stigmatized in our culture, so people may even feel ashamed of their feelings or struggle to recognize that they’re depressed. They may try to conceal their symptoms with forced smiles and an overly upbeat attitude in public, or dismiss their negative feelings when their friends ask questions. This can make depression difficult to recognize in others, but not impossible.
By learning about the signs of depression, you’ll be able to understand and recognize symptoms in a depressed friend or loved one. When you know what to look for, you’ll be better prepared to support and help them through a difficult time.
So, how can you recognize depression in someone else? Here are 4 signs of depression to look out for if you believe someone close to you is suffering from depression.
1. Declining Physical Health
People suffering from depression often struggle with their physical health. You may notice a loved one or friend sleeping more or less than they used to, or struggling with low energy. Others might notice a change in their eating habits or their appetite.
An irregular sleep pattern and changes in diet can have adverse effects on our bodies, like a weakened immune system. Many people with depression also suffer from aches and pains that never bothered them before. You may notice your partner suddenly dealing with migraines, inexplicable back pain, or even getting colds more frequently.
2. Change in Body Language and Conversation
While many suffering from depression have a hard time sharing those feelings directly with their friends and loved ones, they tend to leave clues about those feelings through their words and body language.
Pessimistic comments or a sense of newfound cynicism are very common in people with depression. They tend to speak in extremes, using phrases like “always” and “never,” while misplaced guilt and self-criticism creeps into their language. You might hear a close friend or loved one start to excessively use comments like “I can’t do anything right” or “It’s all my fault.” They may also start talking about death or get philosophical about life and their role in the world.
Changes in body language can be another telling sign of depression. You might notice an animated family member is not as lively as they usually are, or a friend making less eye contact during conversations. It may take them a while to process and respond to what you’re saying, or they may not even appear engaged at all. These can all be signs that
3. Neglecting work and personal life
A lack of engagement is also important to note when looking for signs of depression in a loved one. There may be a friend who doesn’t reach out as much as they used to, or even not at all. They might ignore texts or calls or respond later than they usually would. A desire for isolation often comes with depression, so it often becomes harder to reach out and be as social as they once were.
Those with depression also tend to neglect their work and home responsibilities. Depression often takes up a lot of mental energy, which leaves less left over for everything else. Because of this, you might notice a family member’s home appearing more messy than it usually is, or your partner struggling with their work. They may also start avoiding their favorite hobbies and activities or other things that they care about.
4. Escapist behavior
While many folks suffering from depression tend to lose interest in activities they used to enjoy, there are others who engage excessively in these activities. You might notice someone you love spending too much time at work, on their phone, or playing a video game. They may start drinking and smoking more consistently than they used to, or going out to bars more frequently. They may cope by using drugs or gambling, or engaging in risky behaviors.
People with depression often engage in escapist behaviors such as these in an attempt to get away or distract themselves from the unpleasant feelings they’re currently dealing with. While this form of coping helps with distraction, it does little to address the actual problems your loved one may be dealing with and can often cause even more problems over time.
How to support someone suffering from depression
Those suffering from depression often have a hard time keeping in contact with the people closest to them. Keeping in touch with a struggling friend or family member with a call or text can help to make them feel less alone.
If you’re living with someone with depression, it may be supportive to offer help around the house. Try taking things off their plate that their depression won’t let them handle or that feels overwhelming to them.
Since depression can often cause people to lose interest in activities they used to enjoy and isolate themselves, it’s important to keep doing the activities you usually would do together. If you watch TV with that person, try suggesting a new show to watch together. If they're an outdoor person, offer to go on a hike or even a walk around the neighborhood. Even something small can help them feel seen and supported.
How to talk to your loved one about depression
Depression can be hard to talk about. For many, depression is seen as a weakness or shameful. Being open with a loved one about their depression is important. If you show that you’re willing to listen to them without judgment, they will eventually open up about how they are feeling.
You may not understand what they’re going through, or struggle to understand why they might be suffering, but being supportive and willing to listen can help ease the feelings of isolation and loneliness your loved one may be experiencing.
Reassure them that depression is not a weakness or anything to be ashamed about, and that things can get better. Offering them support, like helping them find a doctor or therapist, can also help your loved one. While going to therapy is a personal choice, hearing from someone close to you that therapy is an option can make it seem less intimidating.
Our therapists at Anchor Counseling New York are experienced in treating many mental health disorders, including depression. Our therapists are accepting new clients - schedule an appointment today to get started.
Blog authors all hold positions at Anchor Counseling. For more information about our therapists and services please contact us.