3 Negative Thinking Traps and How to Reframe Them
What are negative thinking traps?
Thinking traps-also known as cognitive distortions–are something we all experience to a degree. They are basically errors in our thinking processes; where context is overlooked, information that was left out is assumed, or we assign motivations that we don’t actually know to the people around us.
It’s common to experience these from time to time–but when they become the only way you respond to issues or personal obstacles, then it’s likely a problem that needs outside support.
However, since we all experience them from time to time, we can all benefit from learning how to identify and address them when they show up in our lives.
How do negative thinking traps impact us?
Negative thinking traps can contribute to or exacerbate:
Anxiety
Depression
Low self esteem
Chronic stress
They can also put a strain on our relationships–when we’re always falling into worst case scenarios or assigning blame, it can be a struggle to be able to be vulnerable and connect with others authentically without feeling at risk in some way.
What are common cognitive distortions?
There are many common cognitive distortions–today we’re just going to dive into three. Those three include:
All or nothing thinking
Catastrophizing
Personalization
So what are they?
All or nothing thinking:
What it is: Not being able to see a middle ground or “gray area.” Things are either good or bad; you’ve succeeded or you’ve failed; there’s no complexity or room for contrasting ideas; you’ve oversimplified the situation to create a dichotomy.
Example: You receive feedback on a project that you’ve been working on, requesting a few changes. Because they didn’t love the project as-is, you believe the work you’ve done is hated.
Catastrophizing:
What it is: Assigning big meaning to small issues; blowing problems out of proportion; always assuming the worst possible outcome or believing the worst about yourself.
Example: Your roommate asks you to pick up eggs on the way home because you’re running low. You forget to pick up the eggs and fear your roommate will see you as selfish, forgetful, unreliable and tell you that they’re moving out.
Personalization:
What it is: assigning yourself responsibility or blame for things that don’t have anything to do with you. You always see yourself as the root cause of problems. Or, taking things personally even when they aren’t about you.
Example: Someone steps in front of you to grab something off of the shelf at the grocery store. You feel as though they saw you and decided their time or grocery needs were more important than yours and cut in front of you because of that.
What can you do about negative thinking traps?
Identify when you’re falling into thinking traps: start to notice when your thoughts are going down these unhelpful spirals. See if you can name the thought pattern that’s happening. Once you’re able to identify what trap you’re falling into, you can get specific about reframing your thinking.
Learn to ask yourself: is what I’m thinking really what all the information I have tells me? Or is there another conclusion I’m overlooking? Let’s look at our examples:
All or nothing thinking:
Does asking for a minor change mean the entire project was hated? If it was hated, wouldn’t the entire thing need to be redone? All the information you have is that there needs to be a small change
What else is possible? Could it be that the only thing mentioned was the change needed because it was the only actionable piece of feedback? Perhaps they didn’t realize you’d want to hear about what they liked about your project, but would just want to know what was needed to finish the job.
Catastrophizing:
Would your roommate really move out because you forgot eggs? Is there no other reason they might like living with you, other than your agreement to pick up eggs on the way home? Have they never forgotten to do something for the house?
What else is possible: They may ask you to get eggs the next time you’re out, or order some to be delivered by an app if they need them more immediately. They may be frustrated–but when was the last time you wanted to move out of your home because you were frustrated? Do you suddenly hate anyone who forgets to pick up something you asked them for, or do you take a little time to feel your feelings, and move on because you know they didn’t mean to let you down on purpose?
Personalization:
What are you thinking about when you’re grocery shopping? Is it how much everyone around you deserves their groceries? Or are you thinking about what you need and how to get out of the grocery store quickly and efficiently with everything you need?
What else is possible: The person was in a rush and saw the shelf with what they needed and didn’t think of anything but grabbing it.
Learning to question the immediate, negative assumptions we have can help lead us to other possibilities–and the more we do that, the more naturally those possibilities will enter our minds in the first place.
If you’re looking to learn new ways to cope with negative thinking traps, working with a therapist can help. Our therapists at Anchor Counseling New York can help you explore coping skills that work for your situation. Our therapists are accepting new clients - schedule an appointment today to get started.
Blog authors all hold positions at Anchor Counseling. For more information about our therapists and services please contact us.